This little pig had roast beef

If there’s one person in the world who I admire for sheer audacity, it’s Erap Estrada. Since the time I was old enough to know about his unparalleled political (and extra-marital) conquests, the man has always left me wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s Erap or the Filipino electorate I should credit for such amusement.

Just when we thought the highschool drop-out-turned-actor-turned-politician plot is all that makes the news, we all fell off our seats right smack our faces. In less than three years in office, the people’s president was able to rob this country dry, more than enough to support his several families and sustain his dangerous liaisons. In Mareng Winnie’s words, Erap’s havoc can be summarized as, “a ruthless and jobless economy”. During his short-lived presidency, we were astounded by news of his infidelity, mansions, corruption and innumerable unpresidential ways everyday.

Why am I bringing this all up. It’s because there are new erap-tions that made me cringe in utter disbelief, again. First, that he was allowed by the Sandiganbayan to have his knee replaced in Hongkong after he was allowed to attend FPJ’s necrological service. Amazing. Second, that he stayed in Parkview luxury apartment overnight and even hosted a dinner for his former Cabinet members and their wives. Last and definitely not the least, that he had his barber flown in to Hongkong business-class. If you recall GMA’s stylist, Tita Gener, was also part of the official entourage during her visit to China and Brunei and now Erap’s barber flew business-class to HK. I swear.. I can feel a capital L being etched on my forehead.

And when asked to comment how did Erap answer all these? Drum-roll please.. “Bakit? Anong masama don?” “My hair is now long and I can’t face my guests with that look”. Can somebody please tell the man he’s under arrest. The resident clown of the 2004 Board of Canvassers aka Cong. Dilangalen said that Erap just wants to get fresh air. Can somebody please send Digs to the city jail.

This is like allowing your grounded kid to use the phone and he decides to throw a party while you’re away. I think I’ll definitely be insane if and when I begin to decipher the mind of Erap Estrada.