The klutz and the beautiful

One of my classmates in high school senior year proudly shared to our class that she dreams of being a cager’s wife. I didn’t quite get it at that time but not long after I realized that it is not entirely bad to aspire to become a professional athlete’s wife. Not only will you be assured of budgeting a fat paycheck but you will also be the center of envy among friends because you hooked up with the college jock and in the future a professional athlete and not just some DOM. Rich and muscular..not bad at all.

I grew up not having a favorite sport or any sport for that matter. If jackstone is considered a sport then we’ll have to count that in. In highschool, I would do everything not to play volleyball for P.E. class including volunteering to be umpire (even if I don’t know a thing) during intramurals just so I wouldn’t have to play. Thank God for dance or I wouldn’t have passed P.E. at all. I spent school vacations reading, including the required books for the incoming school year. With my sisters around, I don’t have to go out and play with neighborhood children. I was fat as a kid (until now) and was just not interested in playing it rough and hurting myself. Even in reading the papers, sports is the section that I read the least, except when there’s tennis grand slam.

And so there are times when I see myself surprised at how boys talk about sports the way economists would talk about growth rates and trends in world markets. I have noticed how men can analyze games fit for a position paper. I love watching tennis but I watch it for leisure and most of the time just to see Marat Safin and not to explain why he should just sign up for an endorsement pretty much like compatriot Anna Kournikova and give up tennis altogether, based on his performance the past year. What is even more amusing for me is how any ordinary Joe can talk about sports as extensively and analytically as any sports commentator. Any group of guys that I am with, be it my officemates, friends or cousins talk about NBA, F1, UFC, world cup or what have you in an “expert” kind of way. I am also surprised at how they seem to know all the players by heart. I have come to believe that you can randomly put together a group of men and instantly they can talk animatedly about any kind of sports. Amidst the grief our family was going through when my uncle died last Saturday, my dad even managed to ask my grandpa about the world series. He stayed in the hospital the whole morning and he didn’t get to catch baseball. Honestly, I didn’t know what they were talking about until I saw at CNN that the world series is ongoing.

I was amazed when I learned that Jerv can play volleyball as much as he can play basketball. My male cousins excel in all our outdoor activities from softball to bowling to tumbang preso. When friends notice my legs and arms, they hastily conclude that I didn’t enjoy my childhood because I spent it inside the house. You see, I didn’t learn how to ride a bike nor rollerblade. Jerv said that’s probably why I suck at driving. Sometimes I think my parents had it all wrong when they made us, their children, concentrate in getting excellent grades and graduate with honors instead of enrolling us in a sports camp. Given my discipline and competitive spirit, I’m sure it will be a breeze. Where else will you earn so much and do exactly what you love doing and not consider it work at all. Just imagine how much Martina Hingis was earning when she was 15 and all the places she must have gone to, thanks to professional tennis. Or Manny Pacquiao. Even if I bend my back learning all the development theories, I don’t think I will earn as much as he does nor will I be cheered by Stalone.

Given the above, I plan to exert as much effort in going about my sports enrichment program. This will include going to the gym as much as I can, swimming whenever I can, watching Jerv’s ABL games next year and joining the marathon for the second consecutive year. With Jerv’s enthusiasm for sports, hopefully this new set of resolutions won’t go to waste.

Bolaibee's last call

Death certainly makes all things clear. I’m not sure if it’s the sense of loss or the tears that well in your eyes but grief just gives you a lucid perception of yourself, your values and your judgment.

Last Saturday I lost an uncle to cardiac arrest. He was 49. He brought himself to the hospital at Thursday morning, went comatose on the very same day and succumbed to a massive heart attack on Saturday morning. He spent his last three days lying unconsciously, unaware of the beautiful things his precarious condition has brought.

My siblings and I grew up calling him daddy and up to this day we call him that. Perhaps because our own father wasn’t around and being my dad’s brother, he was more than willing to be endeared that way. Having seen him for the first time in three years at the ICU just hours before he left felt like my heart was being crushed. It was all the more heartbreaking when his children, my cousins, approached his bed one by one to whisper that even if it’s the most difficult to do, they are willing to let him go. If I were to make such a decision at any point in my life, I wouldn’t know what to do. My grandma crying at my sister’s shoulder, who saw yet another one of her children go before her, was a picture of a child crying shamelessly in front of her children and grandchildren, instead of the headstrong family matriarch that I have known her to be.

It was my first time to see someone dying. It was my first time to be at exactly the same instant and place where a person dies. It was my first time to be there, the center of hysteria and raw emotions. And it was unbearable..just unbearable.

In death, you see yourself and your relationships in an entirely different level. You begin to see the mundane details of your life as what they truly are, petty and trivial. Everything just seems to be the small stuff, no need to sweat over it. In death, you re-think your issues and learn to set them aside for the things that really matter like mending broken bridges and being strong for those who are weak. In death, you realize how everything you have and everything you are are transient and you surrender them all up hoping that you will somehow get a good bargain. But then a force that is more powerful than you or your boss won’t settle for anything less and will take all of what you have to offer including a part of your heart. And then you feel numb, everything else seems to be fleeting that you struggle for whatever it is you can hold on to. But you can’t.

At the end of the day, you accept that there’s no better place for him than where he is. After putting up a good fight and surviving a good amount of battlescars, he deserves to go home and rest. When it is my time to go, I want to go as peacefully as daddy did. Fast and relentless. But for now, I want to learn to fight when it is needed and give up when it is the right thing to do.

The outlier

Yesterday at Glorietta I saw a high school classmate at the Sony Ericsson booth. No she was not there to check out the latest models. She was there as a promo girl. I really can’t think of a more politically-correct term for this so as much as I dislike using the term I think I would have to use promo girl.

She became my classmate for two years, junior and senior year. She was one of those really responsible girls. I even thought of her as one well-rounded lady because she was able to excel in many things. She got good grades, was good in dancing and the performing arts and very dependable. She was our Juliet in our Shakespeare drama-fest. Also, she will always be chosen as a group leader. I also remember her to be very pretty and really simple and her routine on the balance beam during junior year gymnastics class was just awesome.

From friendster, I learned that she’s now an engineer with a degree in ECE from UST. Really impressive. And so my impression of her as a smart girl was even strengthened. It was even more impressive because now, she looks a lot more like a model than a geeky engineer.

Upon seeing her, my twinsis told me that she was able to talk to high school classmate last Saturday. And what she said startled the hell out of me. Apparently, that’s all she does. She’s not practicing her profession. She just takes modeling assignments or “promo girl” rackets. I was dumbfounded. Why would someone like her do that, exchange four or five years of higher education plus nerve-wracking preparation for licensure exams for standing endlessly in malls enticing passersby to buy a P25,000-cellphone during the weekend. Just why?

When I see how many kids audition for starstruck, star circle quest and supahstar, I search my head for answers why there seems to be countless young Filipinos who want to be artista. I just tell myself that perhaps they are still young or they need money. Maybe when they get to feel the liberating experience of being in a university and learn the value of good education, they will realize that there is so much to this world than making a fool out of yourself for the entire nation to see. But surprise, surprise! My own high school classmate, someone who I believe to be much more discerning and levelheaded chooses to discard her hard-earned degree and license for a job that utilizes more of her legs than her head.

I just had to ask myself, is it me or everyone else seems to enjoy throwing values out of the window. Do star-search shows signal the bright future that lies ahead for my generation? Doesn’t education educate anything anymore? Isn’t education supposed to shield you from the hallucination that using beauty as life’s capital could only bring you more money and not more wealth?

I have nothing against being beautiful. It’s perfectly okay to aspire to be a star. But what baffles me is how this has become today’s norm. Except for my nine year old sister who wants to be a chemist two months ago and now a brain surgeon, everyone else wants to be a movie/tv star, model, and everything in between. Whatever happened to “I want to be a doctor/lawyer” answers. With myriads of extraordinary opportunities open to kids today, just how did Hollywood and mtv conquer everyone’s sense of ambition and fulfillment.

My other great love

I love food. It doesn’t take much to please me when it comes to eating. But what I can really eat for days without complaining is pasta. I can actually live with Mario Batali. I’m a great pasta fan. And when I say pasta fan, I mean all types of pasta.

Whenever my mom can’t think of anything new to feed her hungry kids with, she’ll whip up anything that is in her cupboard and make pasta out of it. We’ve tried corned beef, meatloaf and tuna with pasta. My mom is also famous for her baked macaroni. It has been imitated endlessly by relatives but I have to say nothing beats the original. She’s amazed at how I haven’t lost interest in her baked mac when it has been a family staple for as long as I can remember.

My mom also used to prepare different kinds of sauces with a wide variety of toppings such as ground beef, bacon bits, ham, mushroom, garlic and cheese. Her guests can choose which pasta sauce they like, tomato or cream. This also shows how my mom makes great fettuccine alfredo and spaghetti carbonara.

I had my first taste of pesto when the first Piadina opened at Glorietta food choices. I think I was around 17. I remember going there every week to consume as much pesto and sausage piadina as I can that I became personally acquainted with the Italian owner. I even introduced my cousins to him and told him that I particularly recommended they try the pesto. Since then he would always give me extra spoonful of pesto.

When my mom has more time, she also makes lasagna. But then my baby sister would always compare it with Old Swiss Inn’s lasagna, and would even tell our mom to try making her lasagna as good as Old Swiss Inn’s. My sister can be quite a connoisseur because she thinks eating Jollibee spaghetti can qualify her for Fear Factor and at her age (9 years old), she will choose spinach caneloni with ricotta cheese over other more common dishes. Our current favorite is mom’s puttanesca. As much as possible, she makes sure it’s complete with black and green olives, capers and anchovies. Perfect.

I also love my sister’s angel hair with olive oil and Hungarian sausage..with a lot of garlic. Puschta sausage also makes good substitute when you want your pasta a bit spicy. She also makes spaghetti with aligue but of course on a limited serving and thanks to her we now enjoy Bravo's instant pasta sauce which comes in variety..highly-recommended.

I am such a huge fan of pasta that I can finish the pasta platter at Angelino’s or one whole order of pasta from Italiannis or Napoli’s all by myself. These restaurants’ servings are meant for sharing. My family and friends are really amazed at how big my appetite is for pasta. I think this explains why I am not very satisfied with Cibo or any other pasta restaurant with small serving. Right now I am still craving for Pazzo’s spaghetti saganaki even if I just had it last Saturday.

This Saturday, I will be at Sonya’s Garden for my cousin’s engagement party. Sonya’s pasta sauces, sundried tomatoes and mango cream with chicken, are to die for. Can’t wait…

Ready for the flak

On October 9-10, the first Philippine call center job fair will take place right here at the palace Mendiola parking lot. Some twenty call center firms shall participate. I guess it was called the call center job fair precisely because the only booming industry in the country eager to mass hire are the call centers.

Try checking the job market in your Sunday paper and all you’re going to get are vacancies for call centers. Not just an opening for one or several positions but opening for ridiculously a lot of positions and these call centers have in fact gone to Cebu and Davao for expansion. The President has been very proud of this achievement that she continues to promote the industry as a viable source of employment.

Indeed these contact centers have so much to be proud of. They generate jobs, spur the economy and encourage an English-speaking workforce. The compensation package is also very good. So good that it has attracted some really good people I know.

But no matter how competitive the remuneration and bottomless coffee they offer, I don’t think I can stand working for call centers. Primarily because I don’t think it gives much for career development. I personally think it’s a dead-end job. I’m really not sure what kind of skills relevant to career advancement it imparts to its employees. I heard a lot of people say that the job is so easy it will make you stupid. This is because there is no analyzing, strategizing or problem-solving involved. Everything is scripted. Also it is the kind of job that I think is worry-free. You don’t have to worry about pending assignments at home or when you’re away because everything gets done in an instant. It is also in a way faceless. You don’t get to own whatever work you have accomplished and so I don’t know what kind of fulfillment you’ll get. Also, call centers hire anyone and everyone. There is no school, course, specialization or experience prerequisite. I heard they also hire undergrads. Talk about docile labor. Plus I think the work hours are crazy. The Philippines is not a country where everybody has cars that it’s perfectly safe to go out and work at night.

But with the difficult times we are facing, I can’t blame people for swarming to call centers. Where else will you be earning much more than the minimum wage for an effortless job in a really nice office right after graduation or even without graduating. But what pains me is how the call center phenomenon has taken away the drive for excellence and idealism in the youth. It is actually easy money. I have always believed that what you do defines you and in this case how exactly does being a customer service representative (CSR) define a person. What is s/he capable of doing? What are his/her abilities? Exactly what kind of work can a CSR accomplish? Further, I think this phenomenon also shows that my generation has chosen the less-difficult path, the path that says it’s okay to sacrifice self-actualization for monetary gain. What we have now are the kind of youth who will not strive for merit and distinction because it is just not easy, plus it just won’t get me the cellphone I want.

I hope I am wrong. I hope that we haven’t really lost it. I hope this is just my cynical (broke) self talking. I hope that if John Kerry wins, he will be good to business and allow them to still get Manila’s cheap labor. Beggars can’t be choosers.

Nothing like it

Last Sunday night, I saw Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11. What I learned from the documentary was beyond my wildest expectations that it sent me rolling over on the bed the entire night unable to sleep.

9/11 is a must-see. It certainly burst whatever bubble I have of everything beautiful and to die for American. That Sunday night I realized that I am not willing to trade anything I have or don’t have now just to be a greencard or even greenback holder.

When you believed your entire life that your country is the only remaining superpower in the world who went out of its way to supposedly teach democracy to countries ruled by tyrants, 9/11 will shatter all that. I’m pretty sure all Americans who went to see the film will wallow in self-pity and frustration. They were duped big time. They were made to live in constant fear of nothing all in the name of the almighty dollar. One will actually believe that the war in Afghanistan and Iraq were waged as a purely business venture and not for any other conspiracy theory or other reasons such as further world domination. The movie just made perfect sense and was flawlessly logical that people would perhaps wonder how something as apparent as Bush’s (father and son) Unical and Dick Cheney’s Halliburton slip through their minds. Talk about corporate corruption…

What made the movie all the more engaging was how George W. was portrayed. My mom would often say that some forces actually secured Bush’s presidency because he is the only man for the job. And that job is the stupid decision to wage war in a country that has not lifted a finger against the States but is very rich with oil. He is the only US President who can pull something like saying one thing now and saying something totally opposite the next time or who can speak with sheer conviction about something as vague and baseless as launching an offensive in this age of sovereignty and regional cooperation, not to mention death of barbarism.

But what made the movie really appalling is how families lost sons, brothers, fathers, husbands. No amount of recognition will compensate for this kind of loss especially if it was all done in vain. I actually began to think that who would want to be an American now when they had to send their sons, husbands and brothers to war not for any national interest or patriotic reason but just for a few people’s gain. One Iraq veteran said that he would rather be punished and serve jailtime than go back to Iraq. It was not worth anything. Another soldier said that whenever they kill people, they lose a part of themselves. Michael Moore also said in his narration that he couldn’t blame the members of the US Congress for not having their sons enlisted in the US army because he himself wouldn’t want to and no one else would really want to.

All of us, people from the developing world, were abused and taken advantage of by the United States. Their presence and influence can be felt in everything be it music, culture, taxes, trade policies, elections, contraception. They have played big brother to all subservient nations and America’s deception and exploitation of these countries is really nothing to be surprised of. But how Washington, the bastion of freedom and democracy, led its country to be the largest and most vulnerable terrorist target is definitely unfathomable.

On Iraq and other demons

The first of the US Presidential Debate series has begun this morning at the University of Miami with a cool and composed Sen. John Kerry and a rather peeved Pres. George W.

I have always been a democrat (as if that matters). I just think that my beliefs are more democrat than republican especially on the issue of foreign policy. I also favor the democratic stand on issues such as gay rights, reproductive health and multiculturalism. The libertarian reputation of the democrats is just more appealing to a woman from a third world country like me.

This first round was about foreign policy and homeland security. I have to say that both candidates are surprisingly, very impressive. Most polls show that there these two candidates are neck-to-neck and until now the rate of undecided voters continues to rise. I think this is because none of them has come out very strong on many fronts. Both have successes to speak of and some skeleton in the closet to cover-up.

Sen. Kerry was pretty good. His argument for the need for more security at home and respect from the world really stands. He said that because American soldiers are working double shifts and most of them have Iraq assignments, homeland security is actually suffering (he gave examples to back this up). Further, the United States has overextended itself in Iraq, which in effect has disregarded other countries which need its troops as well such as Darfur, Sudan wherein actual and massive genocide is taking place. He also said that while Mr. Bush was busy with Iraq, North Korea has been expanding its nuclear arms and the former Soviet Union’s own nuclear arms have remained unchecked. And the real problem he said, is that the administration has concealed the truth from the Americans, which should be the basis of a sound policy. He of course criticized the war waged in Iraq by a government that was ill-prepared and deceiving. His plan therefore, is to beef-up security at home and regain real and firm alliances in order to be respected again.

Pres. Bush was quick to respond that forces are being sent in Iraq and Afghanistan precisely to secure America. His tact however, was one-track and just proceeded to attack Sen. Kerry’s flip-flopping policy and tendency to send mixed messages.

To which Sen. Kerry replied, “It is one thing to be certain and wrong and another to be uncertain and right.” That was really good. Mr. Bush was indeed certain, very determined, but also very wrong. He said that what the war on terror has achieved is the impression that America is against Islam, and that this war has actually given terrorists the impetus to pursue their deadly plans. When asked what was the single most serious security threat to the United States, Sen. Kerry answered nuclear proliferation. I think Pres. Bush agreed with Sen. Kerry on that one.

The Democrat candidate’s closing statement was more presidential. He talked about how both of them candidates love America so much but that they have different convictions on how to do it. He said what America needs is a fresh start and a new credibility in order to protect its citizens at home and be respected by the world.

Contrary to what people say that a foreign policy debate is a Bush advantage, the debate showed otherwise.

Since we Filipinos are very fond of Americanizing ourselves, I hope this presidential debate is one American thing we can adopt.